Attune - 2nd Edition
In the first edition of Attune, I wrote about Becoming:
“…it usually doesn’t happen to people who break easily, who have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Usually, by the time you are real…you become very shabby… But this doesn’t matter at all…except to people who don’t understand …”
On The Boulder Mountain Warriors Team, we are building a culture of courageous kids who understand that in our vulnerability, is our strength.
We had our first XC meet on 9/20 at Expo Park in Aurora. It was a chance to dust off the racing shoes and check our fitness level on a course with so much uneven terrain, that times were irrelevant.
Still, I heard kids disappointed with their times, and one fearful statement which has been ringing in my ears for two weeks: “I’m afraid I will disappoint my teammates.”
We all have that fearful gremlin who will try to convince us that we are not good enough. We must keep going, so that it cannot win.
My heart hurt for this runner, who had already decided that she would not perform at a level good enough for herself or her teammates. Her resolve to obey that inner gremlin could not make room for the will to say yes to herself and toe the line to give what she could, on the day, with her team.
I understand the fear completely.
How I wish that I could distill the patience, persistence and pearls, dredged from breathing and crying through my most fearful moments, and offer a thimble full to the kids I coach.
But each of us has to take the journey on our own, feel the disappointment of defeat or heart ache from the times we know we let fear win.
The key is to continue to step into the shoes that our dreams tell us we are big enough to fill.
I entered the University of Oregon as the most decorated female HS distance runner of all time. I was extremely scared of disappointing my teammates, coach, and the entire running community.
I knew what the expectations were. While I had extenuating circumstances which necessitated time off from sport completely, leaving isn’t necessary for most.
However, in a world full of comparison due to social media and rankings posted daily to remind kids where they “stack up,” being intentional about how we perceive all that’s going on, and ourselves, is essential. At Boulder Mountain Warriors we are fiercely devoted to teaching kids how to stay in the present moment, and do what they can, when they can, with what they have at the time.
We create a safe playground for kids to explore what it feels like to reach, fall, get back up and try again.
With love, patience, and lots of self-kindness, we can say yes to ourselves every day, confident in the knowledge that our Team has our back.
I have been reading “The Culture Code” by Daniel Coyle, which is a study of the most successful teams ever observed. The author found this to be true among all successful teams: a successful team is one in which all its members feel safe, have a sense of belonging, and an emotional connection to the mission.
Ultimately, at the University of Oregon, through investing in my teammates and staying present to myself and loving myself through tough moments, I was able to experience that sense of belonging and emotional connection. We all felt safe enough to reach for a Winning season, winning the PAC 10 and Region 8 Championships and placing 5th at NCAAS. I was the first runner for the Ducks, in 9th, earning the All-American status which had eluded me for 4 years.
